Happiness doesn't have to be that hard.
First off- why the spelling? Well, I believe that Happy is a state of being and Happy-ness more accurately describes that state. Also, practicalhappiness(.)com was taken- and interestingly enough- it’s a website for dating.
I've Tried it All
I have a confession to make, I’ve spent years being my own worst enemy. I’ve been pessimistic and cynical and downright unhappy for a very long time.
I’ve thought about therapy.
I’ve been to therapy.
I’ve read books and articles on how to get happy and filled my desktop/office/house with inspirational quotes to get out of my rut.
I’ve tried faking it.
I’ve tried ignoring it.
I’ve tried giving it the middle finger.
I’ve tried running it off.
I’ve tried feeding it chocolate.
I’ve tried drowning it in wine.
I’ve tried blaming my childhood.
I’ve tried blaming my husband.
Where did all that get me? A big fat NOWHERE.
What is your PH?
Think of unpleasant feelings and situations as your happiness compass, or the litmus paper by which your PH is measured.
The fact is, as cliche as it sounds, the only way you can be happy is if you take yourself on the journey to happiness, and I do not mean some weird program you find in a book somewhere that tells you 365,768 steps to happiness.
I’m talking about changing your very way of being to something that is much more instinctive and intuitional. I’m talking about using practical simple every day self work to achieve your own state of contentment. I'm talking about researching yourself and investing the time in figuring out what works for YOU.
This stuff I'm talking about is a lifetime kind of commitment.
I believe in a happiness that can be simple and mindful. Many call it a state of flow. You have to learn to take control of your thoughts and emotions and you have to do the work of fixing yourself. You have to figure out what little tricks are going to work for you and you have to have diligent daily practice.
You have to stop pretending you are something you cannot be.
You also have to accept the fact that unhappiness-and frustration and stress and difficulties and sadness- are ALL part of the journey. They are temporary parts, but without them we would never be able to define happiness.
Think of all the unpleasant feelings and situations as your happiness compass, or the litmus paper by which your PH is measured. If your PH is off, you are going to feel out of sorts. Too much acid, and you are going to be caustic. Too much base and you are going to be fake. The troubling times in your life are when your PH is off, the journey is how you balance the PH.
What Happyness Isn't
A place to get real about happiness and the journey
Here’s the other thing about happiness: Most of what we are raised to think about happiness is just. Flat. Wrong.
Happiness is not finding the perfect mate (or date for that matter).
Happiness is not finding the perfect job.
Happiness is not becoming famous or wealthy.
Happiness is not being the most selfless human being you can be.
Happiness is not putting on a smile and trudging through life.
Happiness is not complacency- it is not “It is what it is.”
More importantly, Happiness doesn’t have to be that hard.
How did I draw these conclusions about happiness? A lot of hard knocks, plenty of humility and frustration, years of feeling inept & hopeless & not good enough, a relentless need to be something true to myself and do something great, refusal to give up on my happyness dreams, and an undeniable passion for the good things in my life.
What do I want to give you? I want to give the PH family a place to get real about happiness and the journey. I want to do a little of the arduous leg work for you, in the hopes that your journey can be easier. No one can embark on your journey for you, but with a map and good tunes, you can maybe have a good time, even when you make a wrong turn and get lost.
How will I do this? Mostly I'll share stories and insights about my journey. Sometimes I'll review books, or share projects or recipes that brought a little happyness to my soul. I'm no doctor or PhD, and can't claim to be some guru, but I've been around many blocks in my life. I'll be serious and introspective, but mostly I'll be sarcastic and witty and real. I'll be sharing bits and pieces of my soul here on PH, as examples of how no matter what your life's worries, if you listen to it you can find a path to your happyness.
Don't want to wait for the bits and pieces? Shoot me an email- I'll be happy to give you an abridged version over Skype or FaceTime, in exchange for a virtual coffee- or even a real coffee if you happen to be traipsing around Amman. Keep an eye out for my memoir- as I work on it the PH community will get the first peek at its inner workings and content.
Click here if you are more curious about me personally, but also feel free to move on if you just want to get to the good content.